I remember a quote my high school choir teacher said, "The perfect job is where you don't work a day in your life". While I'm sure he got that off some bumper sticker or souvenier gift, it quickly became my motto. Then began the search for the perfect job.
In June of 2000, right after graduating from Stockdale High, my parents allowed me to get a job at the Boys & Girls Club. At the time, my three best friends and I had been volunteering there and fell in love with the staff and kids. The three of them received jobs, and I was last to sign on. At the time, it was a one-building after school/summer program for kids. I started off as an activity leader and then became the official Performing Arts Instructor (unofficial Director of Fun Stuff). I had the time of my life. I met new friends and was exposed to a whole different world: the eastside. I think that was God's comical way of foreshadowing where I was going to reside in the future. :) While I grew a lot during this time, deep down I knew that it wasn't going to be the career for me.
Then, in the summer of 2003, I received a job at a summer camp in the hills of Santa Barbara: Camp Whittier. Ironically, it is a Boys & Girls Club owned camp, yet had no connection to the club I had previously worked at. It was only a summer job, and I started as the Drama Instructor. Everyday, I got to teach and play games with all the campers. I lived there for weeks at a time and was exposed to another different world: summer camp (it's a rare bread, believe me). I met some great people and two of my current best friends there, and decided to go back for three more summers. My jobs included: Unit Leader, CIT Director (Counselors in Training teen program), and Summer Camp Director in my last year. I learned so much about myself as an individual and loved it. That camp still holds a special place in my heart. However, I knew I couldn't make a living out of this either.
2004-2008 I paid my dues as a substitute teacher in the public school system. I enjoyed making my own schedule and being able to just carry out instructions that teachers would give me. There was no rocket science to it at all- I just had to show up and carry out instructions while managing a class of students. I saw so many different teaching styles and learned many different activities and classroom management tips. This job was so much like babysitting in that at the end of the day I could hand them back over to their teacher. I was a temporary replacement for a permanent teacher- which was GREAT for those bad classes I had. However, I started to get discouraged- especially when I got to be in classes that I had a great time with. I knew I couldn’t build on anything I had taught, because I would be gone the next day. It was so frustrating at times. I definitely knew that this wasn’t the job for me, either.
Which brings me to my current job: teaching. I swore I would never be a permanent teacher. To be honest, the only reason I did Child, Adolescent and Family studies as my major was because they didn’t believe in standardized testing (which I thought was wonderful). God definitely had different plans in mind. When Joseph and I got married, I moved to his church: Valley Bible Fellowship. One Sunday, I saw an advertisement in the bulletin for needed teachers at their private school on campus. I called and received an interview, actually- 3 months worth of interviews and observations. In August 2008, I was hired! I have been teaching middle school history and K-8 music, ever since! After subbing for close to 4 years, I thought for sure I did NOT want to teach. Who knew I would find so much fulfillment and love for my job as a teacher. After all these years of being a believer, it’s amazing to me how God continually chooses to bless me even when my faith waivers.
I look back at the jobs I’ve had and see how God prepared me to become a teacher. If it weren’t for my job at the Boys & Girls club, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to pilot my talent in creating kids productions. If it weren’t for my job at Camp Whittier, I wouldn’t have learned how to play and be present in a child’s life, as well as be flexible with kids outside of a normal environment and inside the magic of camp. If it weren’t for my job as a substitute teacher, I wouldn’t have learned the organizational aspect of classroom management and how pertinent it is in the life of a child. All these skills have helped mold me into the teacher I am today. I am continuously growing and learning how to be a better teacher…but I feel like this job is- AGAIN- preparing me for the next one…being a mom.
I can’t wait to have the ultimate job of being a mommy. It’s the only job I’ve truly ever desired deep down. Someday, I will use all these skills to help me be the best one I can be- with God’s help. I can’t wait! Being a mommy will definitely be the perfect job where I don’t work a day in my life.
CMO
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Fertility Soap Opera
Today I had a follow up with my doctor (who shall remain nameless for purposes of this blog) from an exam I had done on the first of November, called a Histosalpingogram (HSG).
The HSG consisted of shooting dye through my reproductive system to make sure the "route of pregnancy" was clear and normal. I asked a lot of questions the day I had it done (thankfully...read on) and the radiologist was very up front and honest with me. That day he told me my right fallopian tube was blocked. My pregnancy in March was in the right fallopian tube, and the radiologist said that scar tissue has probably built up and since blocked that tube. I didn't expect that news at all. I cried (a trend with me). However, I left there thankful that I know more about my body. I know, now, that God created that tube with one baby in mind...our first one. Although we may never meet that precious little girl (I felt like it was), that route will forever be hers and hers alone. No other perfect creation will travel that same way. Other good news is that I have slim to no chance of having another ectopic pregnancy in that tube, which is definately reassuring.
Which brings us to today. Today, my doctor was supposed to sit down with me and discuss fertility options after examining the radiologist's report. Joseph and I have been trying to schedule an appointment that we can both make it to for weeks. Here's how the events unfolded:
First, we checked in. I was taken back fairly quickly to have my vitals taken. One nurse started them and then left. Another nurse came up and was standing at the counter opposite of me with her back turned to me. I faintly heard her say something without turning around, but didn't think it was to me. Then she turns to me and repeats "What's your name?" and I said "Stephanie Crisostomo". She turns back around and then proceeds to ask me a bunch of questions, the first one being "When's your due date?" After telling her I wasn't pregnant, I clearly knew that she hadn't looked at my chart WHATSOEVER before talking to me....that's the second time it's happened there. She then proceeds to take my blood pressure and doesn't tell me the reading until I ask. She was all around rude!
Another nurse then takes me and Jess back to a room. She tells me I need to undress from the waist down. I immediately said "Am I having an exam today? I was under the impression this was just a follow up to my HSG exam". She had NO idea what I was talking about and why I was even there. She said okay and then started to leave. She turned around shut the door back and said to me "Well here's the thing, if he does need to do an exam and you're not undressed- than he won't do it today." I said, "Alright, that's fine then." So there I sat, half exposed on the papered lounge chair.
The doctor came in, again fairly quickly. He stood at the corner of where I was sitting and starts our conversation like this "Well, it looks like your tubes are clear and everything looks good..." and then proceeds to talk about something else. I let him talk for a minute (only because I couldn't get a word in with him talking so fast) and then I said "Wait a second, I'm confused...the radiologist said my right tube is blocked." He started flipping through my chart and then said "Oh you're right, yes, it looks like your right tube is blocked".
(Sidebar) WHAT?! If I wasn't the kind of person to ask that radiologist what was going on and for him to explain things to me...or if he wasn't the kind of radiologist that did that....I would STILL think both my fallopian tubes are healthy and functioning! Is this not a big deal to anyone else?? It means I can only get pregnant 6 months out of the year. HELLO....big deal! He CLEARLY hadn't looked at my chart before greeting me, either! I think that's not too much to ask.
Come to find out, he didn't even have the actual xrays from the radiologist (apparently it’s not protocol). He was simply reading the report the radiologist wrote and sent…and not very well, apparently.
Then, as if it wasn't dramatic enough, he proceeds to tell me I have a bicornuate uterus. I know..I had no idea what it was either and had to look it up, because his explanation was terrible. Basically it's where my uterus has an abnormality and has two "horns" making it look like a heart.
Here's a picture for those that are interested:
After all the tests I've had done, how did nobody ever mention this?? Why is this news to me? Ugh.
He continues to talk in "fluff"...fluff meaning it's not anything practical I can grasp onto. He's talking so fast, that I don't have time to ask any questions before he's onto something else. He rarely looked up at me while talking. 90% of the time he was looking down at my chart or writing something in the chart while he spoke.
There was finally enough pause to ask some questions and these were his answers:
My Question: So should I continue taking clomiphene citrate (clomid) since this month will be my 6th cycle of it?
His Answer: Well , it depends. I mean, it won't hurt to continue taking it if you'd like to. It's all up to you and whatever you want to do.
My Question: What about my metformin medicine? I ran out a while ago and haven't been taking it. Is it even beneficial to continue at this point?
His Answer: Well, you can if you want. I mean, it could be one of the factors that got you pregnant in March, but then again it might not be. We'll really never know.
UGH! Please give me some answers! YOU'RE supposed to be the expert...not me! Give me your recommendation at the very least, please! Again, I don't think that's too much to ask.
His words before he left: “Oh, and I don’t feel there’s a need for an examination today, so you can get dressed”. Fabulous...
So we left. A lab slip in hand for a future blood test, $25 less in our pocket, and frustrated.
We went to Starbucks and talked. We’ve decided to quit all medicine (except for vitamins) and find a new OBGYN doctor. I hate the thought of having to start over with a new doctor and explain all this history of mine…but we’re not going back there.
I know one thing’s for sure. God has promised us that we will have children. Not only that, but specifically given us confirmation that it will be natural. With all these things “stacked against”
us: 1 tube, weird-shaped uterus, PCOS and more…Crisostomo babies will be that much more of miracles. And what then? God will receive all the credit.
CMO
The HSG consisted of shooting dye through my reproductive system to make sure the "route of pregnancy" was clear and normal. I asked a lot of questions the day I had it done (thankfully...read on) and the radiologist was very up front and honest with me. That day he told me my right fallopian tube was blocked. My pregnancy in March was in the right fallopian tube, and the radiologist said that scar tissue has probably built up and since blocked that tube. I didn't expect that news at all. I cried (a trend with me). However, I left there thankful that I know more about my body. I know, now, that God created that tube with one baby in mind...our first one. Although we may never meet that precious little girl (I felt like it was), that route will forever be hers and hers alone. No other perfect creation will travel that same way. Other good news is that I have slim to no chance of having another ectopic pregnancy in that tube, which is definately reassuring.
Which brings us to today. Today, my doctor was supposed to sit down with me and discuss fertility options after examining the radiologist's report. Joseph and I have been trying to schedule an appointment that we can both make it to for weeks. Here's how the events unfolded:
First, we checked in. I was taken back fairly quickly to have my vitals taken. One nurse started them and then left. Another nurse came up and was standing at the counter opposite of me with her back turned to me. I faintly heard her say something without turning around, but didn't think it was to me. Then she turns to me and repeats "What's your name?" and I said "Stephanie Crisostomo". She turns back around and then proceeds to ask me a bunch of questions, the first one being "When's your due date?" After telling her I wasn't pregnant, I clearly knew that she hadn't looked at my chart WHATSOEVER before talking to me....that's the second time it's happened there. She then proceeds to take my blood pressure and doesn't tell me the reading until I ask. She was all around rude!
Another nurse then takes me and Jess back to a room. She tells me I need to undress from the waist down. I immediately said "Am I having an exam today? I was under the impression this was just a follow up to my HSG exam". She had NO idea what I was talking about and why I was even there. She said okay and then started to leave. She turned around shut the door back and said to me "Well here's the thing, if he does need to do an exam and you're not undressed- than he won't do it today." I said, "Alright, that's fine then." So there I sat, half exposed on the papered lounge chair.
The doctor came in, again fairly quickly. He stood at the corner of where I was sitting and starts our conversation like this "Well, it looks like your tubes are clear and everything looks good..." and then proceeds to talk about something else. I let him talk for a minute (only because I couldn't get a word in with him talking so fast) and then I said "Wait a second, I'm confused...the radiologist said my right tube is blocked." He started flipping through my chart and then said "Oh you're right, yes, it looks like your right tube is blocked".
(Sidebar) WHAT?! If I wasn't the kind of person to ask that radiologist what was going on and for him to explain things to me...or if he wasn't the kind of radiologist that did that....I would STILL think both my fallopian tubes are healthy and functioning! Is this not a big deal to anyone else?? It means I can only get pregnant 6 months out of the year. HELLO....big deal! He CLEARLY hadn't looked at my chart before greeting me, either! I think that's not too much to ask.
Come to find out, he didn't even have the actual xrays from the radiologist (apparently it’s not protocol). He was simply reading the report the radiologist wrote and sent…and not very well, apparently.
Then, as if it wasn't dramatic enough, he proceeds to tell me I have a bicornuate uterus. I know..I had no idea what it was either and had to look it up, because his explanation was terrible. Basically it's where my uterus has an abnormality and has two "horns" making it look like a heart.
Here's a picture for those that are interested:
After all the tests I've had done, how did nobody ever mention this?? Why is this news to me? Ugh.
He continues to talk in "fluff"...fluff meaning it's not anything practical I can grasp onto. He's talking so fast, that I don't have time to ask any questions before he's onto something else. He rarely looked up at me while talking. 90% of the time he was looking down at my chart or writing something in the chart while he spoke.
There was finally enough pause to ask some questions and these were his answers:
My Question: So should I continue taking clomiphene citrate (clomid) since this month will be my 6th cycle of it?
His Answer: Well , it depends. I mean, it won't hurt to continue taking it if you'd like to. It's all up to you and whatever you want to do.
My Question: What about my metformin medicine? I ran out a while ago and haven't been taking it. Is it even beneficial to continue at this point?
His Answer: Well, you can if you want. I mean, it could be one of the factors that got you pregnant in March, but then again it might not be. We'll really never know.
UGH! Please give me some answers! YOU'RE supposed to be the expert...not me! Give me your recommendation at the very least, please! Again, I don't think that's too much to ask.
His words before he left: “Oh, and I don’t feel there’s a need for an examination today, so you can get dressed”. Fabulous...
So we left. A lab slip in hand for a future blood test, $25 less in our pocket, and frustrated.
We went to Starbucks and talked. We’ve decided to quit all medicine (except for vitamins) and find a new OBGYN doctor. I hate the thought of having to start over with a new doctor and explain all this history of mine…but we’re not going back there.
I know one thing’s for sure. God has promised us that we will have children. Not only that, but specifically given us confirmation that it will be natural. With all these things “stacked against”
us: 1 tube, weird-shaped uterus, PCOS and more…Crisostomo babies will be that much more of miracles. And what then? God will receive all the credit.
CMO
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
She Laughs at the Days to Come
I have been inspired by my beautiful friend, Emily Rimestead, to blog. I love reading updates on her life! So I decided to create one for our little family. Obviously, I'm the author...Stephanie Crisostomo...so everything written WILL be totally bias (biased?). To our family and friends, enjoy!
November 17th, 2010:
I feel the difference in my day when I wake up early and spend time with God. I can't explain it, but I just feel so fulfilled, accomplished, organized and altogether when I have a morning session with Him. The topic of our conversation this morning: peace.
I've had a hard time lately feeling peace in all areas of my life. True peace. Peace characterized by one of my new favorite verses: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." -Proverbs 31:25 (Thanks wifey bible study). I love that..."she can laugh at the days to come". I'm not there yet.
As many of you know, we have had a really hard time getting pregnant. On the 27th of this month, we will have been "trying" for a year and a half. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it would be so hard. In March of this year we did get pregnant but found out that it was an ectopic pregnancy (where the baby got stuck in my fallopian tube and started to grow there). That's where my emotional roller coaster reached it's peak. This month has been especially tough because I estimated that my due date would have been late October/early November. Bad days? Yes! Good days? Mostly. It's so hard to wait on God...but it reminds me of another time in my life...waiting for my husband.
Today as I was talking to God, He reminded me of the days I used to cry out to Him about finding my soulmate. So many nights I would lay in my bed and ask God "Why haven't you sent him to me yet? What is it that You're waiting on?" Looking back, I wish I would have "laughed at the days to come" and trusted God fully with the perfect plan he had waiting around the corner for me...Joseph (affectionately known as Jess to family). Knowing now, what I didn't then, I would have waited a million years for this man I call my husband. God knew what He was doing all along (obviously!). I remember the night God impressed on my heart that Joseph was the one...I cried. (Jokingly, I say it's because I had been picturing the wrong babies this whole time...little white kids). I cried because I knew He was saying "See Steph, I told you it'd be okay. I had this guy in mind from day one and he's PERFECT for you. Enjoy, my daughter". I should have laughed at THOSE days to come.
I hold onto that same hope, with this whole pregnancy thing, knowing God will bless us with a baby when the time is perfect...just like He blessed with me Jess. I need to remember to laugh at THESE days to come.
I play the scenario over and over in my head. Seeing two lines show up on a little test. Telling everyone that we're going to have a baby. Total elation. I'm not going to lie, I'll probably still do that often. However, I'm learning to do that with a laugh in my heart, knowing that I'll hear God saying again "See Steph, I told you it'd be okay. I had this little one in mind from day one and he/she's PERFECT for you and Jess".
November 17th, 2010:
I feel the difference in my day when I wake up early and spend time with God. I can't explain it, but I just feel so fulfilled, accomplished, organized and altogether when I have a morning session with Him. The topic of our conversation this morning: peace.
I've had a hard time lately feeling peace in all areas of my life. True peace. Peace characterized by one of my new favorite verses: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." -Proverbs 31:25 (Thanks wifey bible study). I love that..."she can laugh at the days to come". I'm not there yet.
As many of you know, we have had a really hard time getting pregnant. On the 27th of this month, we will have been "trying" for a year and a half. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it would be so hard. In March of this year we did get pregnant but found out that it was an ectopic pregnancy (where the baby got stuck in my fallopian tube and started to grow there). That's where my emotional roller coaster reached it's peak. This month has been especially tough because I estimated that my due date would have been late October/early November. Bad days? Yes! Good days? Mostly. It's so hard to wait on God...but it reminds me of another time in my life...waiting for my husband.
Today as I was talking to God, He reminded me of the days I used to cry out to Him about finding my soulmate. So many nights I would lay in my bed and ask God "Why haven't you sent him to me yet? What is it that You're waiting on?" Looking back, I wish I would have "laughed at the days to come" and trusted God fully with the perfect plan he had waiting around the corner for me...Joseph (affectionately known as Jess to family). Knowing now, what I didn't then, I would have waited a million years for this man I call my husband. God knew what He was doing all along (obviously!). I remember the night God impressed on my heart that Joseph was the one...I cried. (Jokingly, I say it's because I had been picturing the wrong babies this whole time...little white kids). I cried because I knew He was saying "See Steph, I told you it'd be okay. I had this guy in mind from day one and he's PERFECT for you. Enjoy, my daughter". I should have laughed at THOSE days to come.
I hold onto that same hope, with this whole pregnancy thing, knowing God will bless us with a baby when the time is perfect...just like He blessed with me Jess. I need to remember to laugh at THESE days to come.
I play the scenario over and over in my head. Seeing two lines show up on a little test. Telling everyone that we're going to have a baby. Total elation. I'm not going to lie, I'll probably still do that often. However, I'm learning to do that with a laugh in my heart, knowing that I'll hear God saying again "See Steph, I told you it'd be okay. I had this little one in mind from day one and he/she's PERFECT for you and Jess".
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)