As each year of teaching goes by, I learn more and more about myself. When summer arrives, I meet it full force. My mindset is "This is great, now I have all the time in the world to get ready for next year!". About 3 or 4 weeks in, I start to slow down and become, once again, re-aquainted with the slower pace of life that summer can bring (slower in general). I start waking up a little later, watching a little more TV and doing many more lazier activities. I think that's why I usually offer to help with summer school. Subconsciously I know that if I didn't have something that MADE me get up and out of bed...I might just stay in it all day.
It worries me...
I know that it's good to take the summers "off", and that a lot of people envy that option...but I like to stay busy. More than that...I need to stay busy. Don't get me wrong...I like the rest also...too much at times. But, by getting to know myself more and more...that worries me.
My favorite scripture talks about just that. "Therefore, don't WORRY about tomorrow because it will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." - Matthew 6:34
About this time, I start feeling "the summer blues". I get in an organizing/cleaning mode in all areas of my life. My problem is my tendency to not follow through and THAT'S what gets me down. Sometimes I feel like I'll never make those needed changes in my life.
One thing IS different this summer. Joseph gets to start spending more time at home, as of Sunday (his last shift at KMC as a full-time employee). He took all of July off and I can't be more excited for that. He's my best friend and helps me through everything I'm feeling. I am ecstatic to have him next door to me everyday at school. It's so much better than being a phone call away. I know God has him there for a specific ministry...but I can't help but think that ministry is me, sometimes.
Through this, my faith stands firm. Sure, I cry out to God a lot more...a lot. We have many a conversations about what's wrong with me. He is my rock. More than Joseph. I know that when all these waves of emotions are crashing around me, I'll be able to stand firm on His promises.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
David's Song of Praise
While going through a week of trials, one of my closest friends text
me a verse from this chapter of
2 Samuel 22 (in bold towards the end).
It has endlessly spoken to me since then.
2 Samuel 22 Reads:
David sang to the Lord the words of this song when the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. He said: The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer.
My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my sheild and the horn of my salvation.
He is my stronghold, my refuge and my Savior- from violent men you save me.
I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and i am saved from my enemies.
The waves of death swirled about me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the Lord; I called out to my God.
From His temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears.
The earth trembled and quaked, the foundations of the heavens shook; they trembled because he was angry.
Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it.
He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet.
He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his canopy around him- the dark rain clouds of the sky.
Out of the brightness of his presences bolts of lightning blazed forth. The Lord thundered from Heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.
He shot arrows and scattered the enemies, bolts of lightning and routed them.
The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at the rebuke of the Lord, at the blast of breath from his nostrils.
He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes,
who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued
me because he delighted in me.
The Lord has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.
For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not done evil by turning from my God.
All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees.
I have been blameless before him and have kept myself from sin.
The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to my cleanness in his sight.
To the faithful you show yourself faithful.
To the blameless you show yourself blameless.
To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.
yous ave the humble, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low.
You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light.
With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.
As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless.
He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him.
For who is God besides the Lord?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is god who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of the deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.
He trains my hand for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You give me your shield of victory; you stoop down to make me great.
You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.
I pursued my enemies and crushed them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
I crushed them completely, and they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet.
you armed me with strength for battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet.
You made my enemies turn their backs in flight, and i destroyed my foes.
They cried for help, but there was no one to save them- to the Lord, but he did not answer.
I beat them as fine as the dust of the earth; I pounded and trampled them like mud in the streets.
You have delivered me from the attacks of my people; you have preserved me as the head of nations.
People I did not know are subject to me, and foreigners come cringing to me; as soon as they hear me, they obey me.
They all lose heart; they come tremblings from their strongholds.
The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God, the Rock, my Savior!
He is the God who avenges me, who puts the nations under me, who sets me free from my enemies.
You exalted me above my foes; from violent men you rescued me.
Therefore I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations.
I will sing praises to your name.
He gives his king great victories; he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed, to David and his descendants forever.
Wow. I often forget the power of my God. This chapter of the Word reminds me that He is my deliverer. God WILL deliver me from any trials that come my way. It's a sobering thought.
For so long, I've struggled with sin. As I progress into newer stages of life, I am realizing those sins never go away- they are just manifested differently. Anger. Jealousy. Gossip. All around ugliness. Yet...in the midst of all those emotions...God has felt every single one of them. He knows exactly how I'm feeling, and, I believe, truly empathizes with His kids.
My struggle, this week, was building my confidence through others words and not The Word. As I look to this chapter again, God's trying to tell me all the things I needed to hear. PLUS- (as if that wasn't sufficient) He is saying "Steph, not only will I bring you through this- but I will come to your personal defense. You will be rewarded in my time, daughter." That's all I needed to hear....and it took me a week to find it from the source I should have saught out first.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Friendship: The Perfect Blendship
Growing up, I have had many different groups of friends. Youth group, neighborhood, camp, sorority, school and so on. Now that I'm married and have my own "grown-up" life, I realize how much my group of close friends has dwindled. Here might be two reasons why:
1. In December of 2006, after a sorority birthday trip to Vegas, I realized my life wasn't going much of anywhere. There on my bedroom floor, I recommited my life to my Savior. That next year I was able to go on 3 mission trips abroad. My focus became Jesus: anything and everything about Him. A lot of friendships were "weeded" out during this time. Friendships that had no meaning deeper than having fun. I started to realize that positive/like-minded friends were the most healthy relationships to have. I started over by investing in the lives of people that met this criteria. It sounds snotty now...looking back...but I think this was a huge turning point in me showing God I was serious about my life.
2. When Joseph and I started dating in 2007, my focus immediately shifted from friends to him! I was constantly wanting to be with him- even if it was watching tv together. I remember going to the Cloud's house and talking about him...way too much (they were great friends for listening to me ramble and still being just as excited for me). I'm sure this had a huge impact on my friendships as my time for others became less and less due to me spending so much time with Joseph. I wasn't as quick to "get up and go" anymore. The "rolling out of bed" phone calls to go to breakfast came mostly from Joseph now. Looking back, I could have made a bigger effort in keeping these friendships going. At the same time, I know God had a plan through that.
Now, at the ripe age of 28, I still have many groups of friends. However, I can honestly say that most all of my friendships now are based on a common faith that goes so much deeper than fun. For example: In December, Steph and Jen came to visit me while on their way home from Florida. It was then that I felt an honest sense of true friendship...different from times past. Next to my husband, these two women know most everything about me and still love me unconditionally. I feel like I can be my total self around them and they would never look at me differently. We can sit and watch tv and just be together without any agendas. It doesn't take an appointment to talk on the phone. After we see each other, they don't "call it good" for about a month when we require ourselves to catch up again so that our title of friendship can remain just that.
Not just Jen and Steph, but it's these types of friends in my life that I have come to truly adore. The friends that if I were to call in the middle of the night, I know they would pick up out of concern and not obligation. The kind of friends that will be at our side, rejoicing with us, when we start a family. Friends that, no matter what the distance, will go the extra mile for me and my family.
I want to be that same friend. I want to reciprocate those same things- even when they don't. I want to be a person that loves at all times...even those people that are hard to love. I want to be okay sitting in a conversation without being asked how I'm doing, but rather being interested selflessly in their lives. I want to remember the little things about them, their families and what's important to them. That's my genuine prayer lately.
CMO
1. In December of 2006, after a sorority birthday trip to Vegas, I realized my life wasn't going much of anywhere. There on my bedroom floor, I recommited my life to my Savior. That next year I was able to go on 3 mission trips abroad. My focus became Jesus: anything and everything about Him. A lot of friendships were "weeded" out during this time. Friendships that had no meaning deeper than having fun. I started to realize that positive/like-minded friends were the most healthy relationships to have. I started over by investing in the lives of people that met this criteria. It sounds snotty now...looking back...but I think this was a huge turning point in me showing God I was serious about my life.
2. When Joseph and I started dating in 2007, my focus immediately shifted from friends to him! I was constantly wanting to be with him- even if it was watching tv together. I remember going to the Cloud's house and talking about him...way too much (they were great friends for listening to me ramble and still being just as excited for me). I'm sure this had a huge impact on my friendships as my time for others became less and less due to me spending so much time with Joseph. I wasn't as quick to "get up and go" anymore. The "rolling out of bed" phone calls to go to breakfast came mostly from Joseph now. Looking back, I could have made a bigger effort in keeping these friendships going. At the same time, I know God had a plan through that.
Now, at the ripe age of 28, I still have many groups of friends. However, I can honestly say that most all of my friendships now are based on a common faith that goes so much deeper than fun. For example: In December, Steph and Jen came to visit me while on their way home from Florida. It was then that I felt an honest sense of true friendship...different from times past. Next to my husband, these two women know most everything about me and still love me unconditionally. I feel like I can be my total self around them and they would never look at me differently. We can sit and watch tv and just be together without any agendas. It doesn't take an appointment to talk on the phone. After we see each other, they don't "call it good" for about a month when we require ourselves to catch up again so that our title of friendship can remain just that.
Not just Jen and Steph, but it's these types of friends in my life that I have come to truly adore. The friends that if I were to call in the middle of the night, I know they would pick up out of concern and not obligation. The kind of friends that will be at our side, rejoicing with us, when we start a family. Friends that, no matter what the distance, will go the extra mile for me and my family.
I want to be that same friend. I want to reciprocate those same things- even when they don't. I want to be a person that loves at all times...even those people that are hard to love. I want to be okay sitting in a conversation without being asked how I'm doing, but rather being interested selflessly in their lives. I want to remember the little things about them, their families and what's important to them. That's my genuine prayer lately.
CMO
Monday, January 24, 2011
Everlasting Love
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”
We talked about this verse (and others) in our small group yesterday morning (also known as “Sunday School”- but I don’t like that term). First thing that comes to mind is the song we are familiar with and sing regularly. Second thing is love! The kind of love God has for us…for me…is unimaginable. Really…I can’t imagine how much he loves me. As humans, it’s too big of a concept for us to wrap our heads around. This is what I think of when I think of love:
- The lover of who I am. My Lord.
- My soul mate Joseph
- My families
- Cuddling with Zoe and Ren when they’re sleepy
- My true friends and their families
- Consoling friends/students when they are upset
- Valley Schools
- A clean house that is organized
- Camping
- Finances/Money (I’m weird…sometimes it’s a downfall)
What about the bad things? What about the deep things inside of my heart/mind that are ugly. God STILL loves me? I don’t think any of us will every comprehend that, in spite of all the terrible things I’ve thought and said and did, God still genuinely loves me.
I find myself often wandering with my thoughts and loving/focusing on things that are so worldly- like a new car or home improvements. I honestly don’t feel those are bad things or that God doesn’t bless us with the opportunities to have those things to use for His glory, but I’ve got to constantly keep myself in check.
God’s changing me. Spiritually, physically, emotionally. I couldn’t be more excited for a new season of life that He’s allowing me to embark on. Of course, fear is always lingering in my mind as the journey of my life continues. Fear of satan interfering with my journey in any way he sees possible. Fear that someday my parents won’t be here anymore. Fear that I’ll be a forgetful friend that is constantly having to be reminded of things. Fear that my past, my history will not be a legacy in our family. And then my Lord sweetly whispers to me the words of Isaiah 41:10 and more…
Fear not, Steph, for I am with you. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand. I will see you through this journey. Until the end, I will be by your side. Holding you up when you fall and letting you lean on me when you’re weak. I will guide you through the scary parts of life that will be endlessly sad. I will help you remember things that are important to others, when you can’t. I WILL continue my legacy through you. The legacy that your parents continued and that your children will carry on. I love you.
I love those moments. When God whispers ever so gently. I pray that I never get to a point ever again where I can’t/won’t hear Him. It’s something I’m now dependent on. Co-dependent on my Savior. Lately, my prayer is to love others with this love that I can’t wrap my head around. This love that I can only glean from Him and overflow onto others. A love I don’t have in me naturally. The ability to see others through His loving eyes and not my judgmental ones.
I like this quote by Eleanor Powell:
“What we are is God’s gift to us. Who we become is our gift to Him.”
Yes, Lord, I want to be the best present you have ever received!
CMO
Monday, January 3, 2011
2011 Goals
I came across these verses in my devotion this morning:
" Commit to the Lord whatever you do- and your plans will succeed" -Proverbs 16:3
"The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty" -Proverbs 21:5
There's always that inner dilemma for me of finding the balance of faith and planning. On extreme may say that to live by faith is not to have set plans, because our timeline isn't God's. The other extreme may plan too much down to the very minute of each day. Depending on where you fall on this continuum, your theory will transfer over into every aspect of your life (in my opinion).
I'm a "beaver" in so many aspects. I love to be methodical about things. Routine, scheduling and organizing gets me motivated. I'm a very particular person in so many respects. However, over the years of discovering this about myself- I'm realizing that it can be a bad thing to. I was reminded of this when we set our goals for 2011 at the river on Saturday.
We found a perfect place at a picnic table right on the river. The water was extremely high, I'm guessing due to all the rain we have had lately.
(Sidebar) I love going there with Joseph. It's the place he took me on our first date, and has been special ever since. We have no usual routine when we go, but God always meets us there. There's something about nature that brings peace and openness to our marriage. Sometimes we will sit around and have the greatest conversations, and sometimes we will just sit and look at the sky- in awe of the creator's majesty that surrounds us. Like I said, its a special place for us.
(Anyway) I found myself preparing for this upcoming visit by making a list in my phone of all the things I wanted to contribute to our goal setting for this year. If you have ever been in our home, you may have seen our blackboard above our garage door that has our list of goals on it for the year. We usually categorize it into: Spiritual, Social, Financial- but this year we have added a Career category. After rattling off my compiled list, I realized that most of them went into our "financial/investment" category. Typical "beaver". After our list was all done, we realized that our smallest category was Spiritual. Typical humans. Convicted? Absolutely. Here was our list before categorizing:
1. Joseph- graduate with MA in Education
2. Maintaining a healthy weight
3. Sell Camry/Buy new car
4. Put new flooring/carpet in home
5. Finish painting kitchen/master bedroom
6. Cut back on/re-evaluate one bill a month
7. Organize a Crisostomo camping reunion trip this summer
8. Go on a family trip with Steph and Jen
9. Joseph target goals for possible career change
10. Family vacation with White/Crisostomo clan
11. Go to a marriage retreat/couple's seminar
12. Make first contact with a Connection Point couple within one week of receiving info
13. Up our offering
14. Make contact with oneneighbor once a month
15. Three trips to visit our brother
16. Visit San Diego right before Christmas this year
17. Send monthly card to two friends
18. Pay off 3 cards and pay Kern Fed down
19. Reconnect with accountability to restart practical evangelism
20. Maintain quiet time area for Steph
Our theme verse that we decided on this year is Romans 15:13:
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by he power of the Holy Spirit."
After realizing where most of our goals were focused, Joseph made a practical point in that we need to live with "Today" as our focus. We talked more about it and decided that "This is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it" will be another theme for us this year.
It is our prayer that no matter what comes this year, our focus will be on God and God alone. That we will truly overflow with hope, peace and joy as we trust that He will provide for us spiritually, socially and financially all year long. All that to say, often I've got to push that "beaver" aside and be spirit-led. Even if it means breaking routine or going off schedule- my ultimate schedule is a kingdom one. Is it bad to plan? I believe those verses, from my devotion today, say no..it's not. I know God values a woman of wisdom, and that part of being a "woman of noble character" is being self disciplined.
So...I look forward to the days that lie ahead in 2011!
CMO
" Commit to the Lord whatever you do- and your plans will succeed" -Proverbs 16:3
"The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty" -Proverbs 21:5
There's always that inner dilemma for me of finding the balance of faith and planning. On extreme may say that to live by faith is not to have set plans, because our timeline isn't God's. The other extreme may plan too much down to the very minute of each day. Depending on where you fall on this continuum, your theory will transfer over into every aspect of your life (in my opinion).
I'm a "beaver" in so many aspects. I love to be methodical about things. Routine, scheduling and organizing gets me motivated. I'm a very particular person in so many respects. However, over the years of discovering this about myself- I'm realizing that it can be a bad thing to. I was reminded of this when we set our goals for 2011 at the river on Saturday.
We found a perfect place at a picnic table right on the river. The water was extremely high, I'm guessing due to all the rain we have had lately.
(Sidebar) I love going there with Joseph. It's the place he took me on our first date, and has been special ever since. We have no usual routine when we go, but God always meets us there. There's something about nature that brings peace and openness to our marriage. Sometimes we will sit around and have the greatest conversations, and sometimes we will just sit and look at the sky- in awe of the creator's majesty that surrounds us. Like I said, its a special place for us.
(Anyway) I found myself preparing for this upcoming visit by making a list in my phone of all the things I wanted to contribute to our goal setting for this year. If you have ever been in our home, you may have seen our blackboard above our garage door that has our list of goals on it for the year. We usually categorize it into: Spiritual, Social, Financial- but this year we have added a Career category. After rattling off my compiled list, I realized that most of them went into our "financial/investment" category. Typical "beaver". After our list was all done, we realized that our smallest category was Spiritual. Typical humans. Convicted? Absolutely. Here was our list before categorizing:
1. Joseph- graduate with MA in Education
2. Maintaining a healthy weight
3. Sell Camry/Buy new car
4. Put new flooring/carpet in home
5. Finish painting kitchen/master bedroom
6. Cut back on/re-evaluate one bill a month
7. Organize a Crisostomo camping reunion trip this summer
8. Go on a family trip with Steph and Jen
9. Joseph target goals for possible career change
10. Family vacation with White/Crisostomo clan
11. Go to a marriage retreat/couple's seminar
12. Make first contact with a Connection Point couple within one week of receiving info
13. Up our offering
14. Make contact with oneneighbor once a month
15. Three trips to visit our brother
16. Visit San Diego right before Christmas this year
17. Send monthly card to two friends
18. Pay off 3 cards and pay Kern Fed down
19. Reconnect with accountability to restart practical evangelism
20. Maintain quiet time area for Steph
Our theme verse that we decided on this year is Romans 15:13:
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by he power of the Holy Spirit."
After realizing where most of our goals were focused, Joseph made a practical point in that we need to live with "Today" as our focus. We talked more about it and decided that "This is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it" will be another theme for us this year.
It is our prayer that no matter what comes this year, our focus will be on God and God alone. That we will truly overflow with hope, peace and joy as we trust that He will provide for us spiritually, socially and financially all year long. All that to say, often I've got to push that "beaver" aside and be spirit-led. Even if it means breaking routine or going off schedule- my ultimate schedule is a kingdom one. Is it bad to plan? I believe those verses, from my devotion today, say no..it's not. I know God values a woman of wisdom, and that part of being a "woman of noble character" is being self disciplined.
So...I look forward to the days that lie ahead in 2011!
CMO
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