As each year of teaching goes by, I learn more and more about myself. When summer arrives, I meet it full force. My mindset is "This is great, now I have all the time in the world to get ready for next year!". About 3 or 4 weeks in, I start to slow down and become, once again, re-aquainted with the slower pace of life that summer can bring (slower in general). I start waking up a little later, watching a little more TV and doing many more lazier activities. I think that's why I usually offer to help with summer school. Subconsciously I know that if I didn't have something that MADE me get up and out of bed...I might just stay in it all day.
It worries me...
I know that it's good to take the summers "off", and that a lot of people envy that option...but I like to stay busy. More than that...I need to stay busy. Don't get me wrong...I like the rest also...too much at times. But, by getting to know myself more and more...that worries me.
My favorite scripture talks about just that. "Therefore, don't WORRY about tomorrow because it will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." - Matthew 6:34
About this time, I start feeling "the summer blues". I get in an organizing/cleaning mode in all areas of my life. My problem is my tendency to not follow through and THAT'S what gets me down. Sometimes I feel like I'll never make those needed changes in my life.
One thing IS different this summer. Joseph gets to start spending more time at home, as of Sunday (his last shift at KMC as a full-time employee). He took all of July off and I can't be more excited for that. He's my best friend and helps me through everything I'm feeling. I am ecstatic to have him next door to me everyday at school. It's so much better than being a phone call away. I know God has him there for a specific ministry...but I can't help but think that ministry is me, sometimes.
Through this, my faith stands firm. Sure, I cry out to God a lot more...a lot. We have many a conversations about what's wrong with me. He is my rock. More than Joseph. I know that when all these waves of emotions are crashing around me, I'll be able to stand firm on His promises.
