She Laughs at the Days to Come

I have been inspired by my beautiful friend, Emily Rimestead, to blog.  I love reading updates on her life!  So I decided to create one for our little family.  Obviously, I'm the author...Stephanie Crisostomo...so everything written WILL be totally bias (biased?).  To our family and friends, enjoy!

November 17th, 2010:
I feel the difference in my day when I wake up early and spend time with God.  I can't explain it, but I just feel so fulfilled, accomplished, organized and altogether when I have a morning session with Him.  The topic of our conversation this morning:  peace. 

I've had a hard time lately feeling peace in all areas of my life.  True peace.  Peace characterized by one of my new favorite verses: "She is clothed with strength and dignity;  she can laugh at the days to come." -Proverbs 31:25 (Thanks wifey bible study).  I love that..."she can laugh at the days to come".  I'm not there yet. 

As many of you know, we have had a really hard time getting pregnant.  On the 27th of this month, we will have been "trying" for a year and a half.  Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it would be so hard.  In March of this year we did get pregnant but found out that it was an ectopic pregnancy (where the baby got stuck in my fallopian tube and started to grow there).  That's where my emotional roller coaster reached it's peak.  This month has been especially tough because I estimated that my due date would have been late October/early November.  Bad days?  Yes!  Good days?  Mostly.  It's so hard to wait on God...but it reminds me of another time in my life...waiting for my husband.

Today as I was talking to God, He reminded me of the days I used to cry out to Him about finding my soulmate.  So many nights I would lay in my bed and ask God "Why haven't you sent him to me yet?  What is it that You're waiting on?"  Looking back, I wish I would have "laughed at the days to come" and trusted God fully with the perfect plan he had waiting around the corner for me...Joseph (affectionately known as Jess to family).  Knowing now, what I didn't then, I would have waited a million years for this man I call my husband.  God knew what He was doing all along (obviously!).  I remember the night God impressed on my heart that Joseph was the one...I cried. (Jokingly, I say it's because I had been picturing the wrong babies this whole time...little white kids).  I cried because I knew He was saying "See Steph, I told you it'd be okay.  I had this guy in mind from day one and he's PERFECT for you.  Enjoy, my daughter".  I should have laughed at THOSE days to come.

I hold onto that same hope, with this whole pregnancy thing, knowing God will bless us with a baby when the time is perfect...just like He blessed with me Jess.  I need to remember to laugh at THESE days to come. 

I play the scenario over and over in my head.  Seeing two lines show up on a little test.  Telling everyone that we're going to have a baby.  Total elation.  I'm not going to lie, I'll probably still do that often. However, I'm learning to do that with a laugh in my heart, knowing that I'll hear God saying again "See Steph, I told you it'd be okay.  I had this little one in mind from day one and he/she's PERFECT for you and Jess".