All Roads Lead To a Family

And the Lord said, "... And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night?  Will He keep putting them off?  I tell you, He will see that they get justice and quickly.  However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?"

I know the starting point.  I know the destination.  However, the question on my mind has been..which road takes us there?  There are so many roads that lead to having a family.  Natural conception, ART, foster care, county adoption, private adoption through an agency, private adoption through a law firm, and stealing a child (just kidding!)

For over the past four years, Joseph and I have been slowly researching these different options.  As of the last few months, it seems like our research has been more concentrated.  Since November 2012 we have done one cycle of IUI through ART, attended a county foster care orientation, attended a county adoption orientation, spoke with a lawyer who does adoptions, emailed/had coffee/text with many friends about their different experiences.  I'm thankful for each experience and exposure to everyone's different "road" to having a family.  However, now I am more confused than ever.

For many of the options listed above, either Jess or I have felt like we shouldn't keep pursuing them for very different reasons.  Which brings us back to square one.  However, I'm learning that square one isn't a bad place to be.  It has pulled the control out from under our human selves and given it back to the One who rightly should have it.  It doesn't take the confusion away.  And I feel that the more I pray, the more conflicted I feel by having this God-given desire to have a family and be a mom- yet, not feeling led to pursue many of these roads further.  I feel like both feelings are from the Father, but how could they not be in line with each other.  I have to be missing something.

I have the privilege of being a part of a discipleship program at church.  Right now we are going through the workbook "Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life."  I'm on the chapter about prayer, and this quote jumped out at me: "If we do not persevere in prayer, what are we demonstrating that we believe about God's love and His promises to us?"  The answer:  Nothing.  When the rubber meets the road, we are demonstrating that we don't believe God will REALLY answer our prayer.

So where does that leave me and Jess?  Back at square one.  We know He has promised us a family and a biological one at that.  I believe that will happen.  His timing remains.  Control is His, not ours.  While I may feel confused along the way, He doesn't.  And, like the above scripture says, "He will see that they get justice and quickly." I can't expect God's definition of "quickly", and mine, to be the same.  He is Sovereign, and I am not.

And when it happens...I will...Jess will...those around us will...give Him the glory.